Reflection
So recently I was thinking about how far I've come in the last couple of years. I've done things I never thought would be possible. I've had a baby, I moved out of state, I moved back in the state, and I've also paid off my car... 3 years early.
I haven't really talked much to the public about the abuse I went through during my first marriage. I was verbally beaten down to believe that I would not survive without him. That I wouldn't be able to eat, or pay my own bills, or basically live. Every day, the comments and the basically mantras he would repeat... for years... until I started to believe them.
But look at me now. 2.5 years without him and not only am I surviving, I am thriving. I paid off my car 3 years early. I moved out of not just my apartment, but out of state. Across the country even. While that did not last for a few reasons, I still did it.
I had a baby. I grew an ENTIRE human... something that he (and doctors) said I would never do. I did that. I am super impressed too.
I am working two jobs, going to school and raising two tiny humans with an amazing partner. I am exploring options on things I never would have dreamed of.
It blows my mind every day. I am sure Alex is tired of hearing it, but I am still shocked that I have some this far. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Have I given up? Nope. Here I am, moving forward and trying to not look back. (I only look back to see how far I've come. I try to not stay there.)
I love this life I lead now. I have more say in what I want to do, I have more support in my decisions I make. This is the marriage and partnership I've dreamed of. and I am happy.
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