Happiness.

Such a powerful word. It's an even more powerful feeling. You don't realize how powerful until you have felt unhappiness for such a long time. 

I didn't realize how unhappy I was. I felt like I had no direction. Every decision I made was wrong. I was getting depressed without realizing it. I was tired all the time. I didn't have the energy to do my basic house hold chores. I didn't have the energy to do much more than basic life requirements. 

Happiness is what lead me to becoming a member of the church. Ryan said it plenty. Trent, Kevin and even Corey said it. Now others are saying and even seeing it.

Tracey, Kris and Jeremy

I met up with the missionaries for a lesson, like I do many nights through the week. Ironically it was a lesson with Cindy, the one who introduced me to them. Now, I am a member sitting in with her lessons, which apparently never happens. (Consider me the wonderful rebel.) 

Cindy had to postpone last minute, but I still met up with Ryan and Elder Griffiths, a day transfer from Moncks Corner. We had dinner and then went through my lesson. Tracey was working, since we love us some Georgetown Family Pizza. We did half our lesson and took off so they could close up. They had to make a stop and said they would stop in on the way home to finish up. When they stopped by, we were in the middle of completing my lesson when Tracey sent me a message, "Yo is good to see you happy."

Wedding Photo!

Words can not express how much that meant to me. I've gotten so much flack from those close to me about this, and lost a couple of friends as well. For someone to take the time, a literal 30 seconds or less (she has ninja fingers!) to message me something so simple... It's amazing. 

It doesn't matter that she might not agree with what I did, or not even understand.. (which is the purpose of this blog) She doesn't care. We've been friends for as long as I can remember. There's not a time that I don't remember her being in my life; whether it was me hanging out with my mom and her at work, or even her smacking my beautifully made and precious sandwich to the ground, Jones has been there. She's seen me in varying stages of my life, including my marriage to Jeremy! I can't express my gratitude for an amazing Jones.

I do feel happier. Now that she said it, I do. I'm not as angry. I am not as resentful and I'm not as mean. I genuinely feel so much happier. I can tell a difference in my daily life as well as with my husband and family.