Healing
"You cannot heal in the same environment you got sick. "
This is so full of truth. The environment is different for everyone. The sickness is different to everyone.
We are all human. We all struggle. I feel that since I've converted, that I am struggling more with a few environments, like my past. Things I wish I would have done differently, but I know all of those things have lead me to this moment in my life. Without those sicknesses and struggles, I wouldn't be here. It definitely won't help me heal if I keep then at the front of my mind, like I'm still in that environment. (Even though I'm physically not, thank God.)
I remember our first apartment. It was so small. It was one giant room, with a bathroom attached. No privacy unless we were in the bathroom and even then, it wasn't much. We felt fancy when we moved downstairs and it was a two bedroom place, and we could turn one bedroom into a living space. But that environment was bad for us.
It was a dumpy apartment, with some of the most unsafe, unstable and dangerous people living in the building. So much drama, and lies and crazy events. It was no good for use, especially as young newly Weds. It was tearing us apart, and I could feel it. I begged for years to get out, and we finally were able too. After that, it was still a struggle, but it wasn't as much. Every move we've made has been a lateral move and we improve.
I know, had we stayed in that environment, we would not have lasted much longer. We couldn't heal in that cesspool of drama, anger and pessimism that revolved around that place and its residence.
With the help of Ryan and Jeremy, as well as other missionaries I still talk too, I am healing out of an environment I've already left. Not just that one, but a few others as well. Reading the scriptures help, as well as praying and even this blog, though it's been a little bit since I've written.
I started this chapter with the intent of talking about my actual illness, but it's turned into something more. I know that I am struggling, but there is hope. There is always hope and I have faith in Heavenly Father.
This is so full of truth. The environment is different for everyone. The sickness is different to everyone.
We are all human. We all struggle. I feel that since I've converted, that I am struggling more with a few environments, like my past. Things I wish I would have done differently, but I know all of those things have lead me to this moment in my life. Without those sicknesses and struggles, I wouldn't be here. It definitely won't help me heal if I keep then at the front of my mind, like I'm still in that environment. (Even though I'm physically not, thank God.)
I remember our first apartment. It was so small. It was one giant room, with a bathroom attached. No privacy unless we were in the bathroom and even then, it wasn't much. We felt fancy when we moved downstairs and it was a two bedroom place, and we could turn one bedroom into a living space. But that environment was bad for us.
It was a dumpy apartment, with some of the most unsafe, unstable and dangerous people living in the building. So much drama, and lies and crazy events. It was no good for use, especially as young newly Weds. It was tearing us apart, and I could feel it. I begged for years to get out, and we finally were able too. After that, it was still a struggle, but it wasn't as much. Every move we've made has been a lateral move and we improve.
I know, had we stayed in that environment, we would not have lasted much longer. We couldn't heal in that cesspool of drama, anger and pessimism that revolved around that place and its residence.
With the help of Ryan and Jeremy, as well as other missionaries I still talk too, I am healing out of an environment I've already left. Not just that one, but a few others as well. Reading the scriptures help, as well as praying and even this blog, though it's been a little bit since I've written.
I started this chapter with the intent of talking about my actual illness, but it's turned into something more. I know that I am struggling, but there is hope. There is always hope and I have faith in Heavenly Father.
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